Its been a long time. A REALLY long time. The last post I posted on here was in December 2011. So much has happened since that time. SO MUCH. I haven't blogged. I haven't done any reviews or blogging for the PTPA.
How do you summarize the events that have taken place over more than a year?
I will start with Dad. Actually that will be the only story that I tell today.
CANCER.
My Father's Cancer changed my life. It devastated me. It still does. Every day we wait for it again. We live with it. But after a year - we enjoy the time we have together. We make the most of it. We live and love.
Here is the story that has made me disappear from my blog and from Twitter. I have only kept up on Facebook. Facebook has made me happy. Its where my friends and family are. Its where I share my personal life. My kids and stories that are important to us. Facebook has been therapeutic.
Last Spring, Dad was diagnosed with Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Specifically - Diffuse large B-cell lymphoma (DLBCL).
Its a very aggressive form of Lymphoma. Its also a curable form too. At least for some. My Dad - not so much.
By the time his Lymphoma was diagnosed - we had some biopsy problems where the cells died and could not get a proper diagnosis and some other events as such - we found out that his Cancer was at Stage 4. He was dying in front of our eyes. He was hospitalized. It was so aggressive. The Oncologist promised me that within days of his first treatment that my Dad would come back - feel better, get much better. True enough to his word - maybe a bit longer than a few days - he did.
My father started chemo in the summer and did 6 rounds of CHOP-R. This is the normal course of chemotherapy for his type of Cancer. It was scary - especially since Dad's health was already compromised prior to the Cancer.He suffers from heart disease, diabetes, etc. The Oncologist was worried that Dad would not live through the chemo. Sometimes you hear that the treatment is worse than the disease and in this case, that is true. I'm not sure how often someone is diagnosed with a type of Cancer that is curable. One that has a high rate of being cured even at Stage 4 and when its has spread throughout your body. But due to his other health problems and age- he had a huge risk of toxicity. The chemo cocktail kills not only the Cancer - but everything else too. The good things too. It weakens your heart and has the potential of killing you.
Dad got through his 6 rounds. The cancer was responding so great to the chemo. He sent Dad on a CT scan to see how the cancer was after treatment. The results were great. The Cancer continued to respond and shrink. The oncologist wanted to do just 2 more rounds of chemo. To try and go for a cure. We were so happy. This was the best news ever. But - BUT - after testing, it was decided that Dad could not do anymore chemo. His heart was too weak and he was starting to exhibit signs of heart failure.
This was hard for us to understand. To accept. How do you get so close to a cure. See a cure - but not be able to do it.
He told me that he does not know if there is active Cancer in those masses that they saw in the scan and that sometimes residual masses are found after treatment. He doesn't know the reason. He did tell me that the CT results showed that the masses have shrunk by 50% or more and that is good news.
So chemo ended this past fall. What does that mean for the future - your guess is as good as mine. He is not cured. No one is considered cured from Cancer until they are Cancer free for 5 years. We do know that there are masses. Maybe with Cancer, maybe not. The type of lymphoma he had was very aggressive and could start growing again. He told my Dad to look out for the symptoms. I do know that if that happens, there will be no more treatment.
I do know that we are lucky that he is still alive no matter how long that may be. It could be many years and it could be just for the near future. I am lucky that I still have time with him. Time to spend with him. I do know that he wont live as long as I would like. He probably wont be around to see my kids get married, maybe not even go to high school, maybe not even next year, but I am going to enjoy my father every moment that I can. I haven't had the opportunity to spend as much time with him as I would have liked or like.. due to things like illness and those of you that know me know that work can be insane. But the time we do spend is precious.
The best thing about this - if there is one - is that my Dad is optimistic. He is smiling and enjoying his days. My kids and stills hopes that he can kick Cancers butt. He smiles all the time. he doesn't complain. He lives. I'm proud of him. I love him.
I hate Cancer. Its everywhere. It has no boundaries. If I had one wish - it would be that we find a cure for Cancer in our lifetime.
No comments:
Post a Comment